Preparation

When I was younger, I never was around people who were long term preparers in life and for life. Therefore no direction was given to me nor taught for me and this life. I lived each moment for that moment and dealt with the results later. Good or bad, that is not the way you should ever live your life. You remember that saying, plan for the worse and hope for the best? That saying can go for anything… but it should always be the case when it comes to finances and supplies, needs for your family and yourself. If you make a little money or alot, it holds true. I have been there and know alot of people who make very good money, yet still have little when it’s payday again. They rely on overtime money to live, they do not think ahead, they can’t make themselves ‘forget’ about that stash money they were planning on stacking up so they spend it on something they could have done without if they would have just changed their mind for that moment. Like I said, I have been there… and without discipline, I still am. So where am I going with all this??…well just sit back and keep an opened mind without judgement of anybody but yourself. If you are perfected in this area, then I pray these words you are reading gives you the power to teach other’s your talent.

Living the American dream. We all want it, we all need it, and we all fight for it. But what the heck is the actual American dream? Well that’s what is so cool about it… it has no set definition, because each one of us has a different American dream, and not to say that the most materialistic person has it wrong via this blog, but what are you doing? Can you live like that and still be ok through the rest of your life? You can? What about your children and grandchildren’s future for help and education? You got it? Great! Keep it up! But don’t stop reading, because again, I want to guide you to the words you have the power to use to teach success for the ones that normally would have never had the chance to hear… like I didn’t. Money is money and we all need it to survive, so show your blessings through actions and lessons to the ones that never had that guidance, that’s true wealth.

So to the rest of us. Listen up. I want to share what I know personally to you that will change your mind on what true contentment and wealth really is. So much so, that you actually can go straight to sleep at night with no worries that cannot be resolved. Trust me, I promise. This life is not suppose to be difficult 24/7. It just isn’t. So do not keep allowing it to be so. It’s up to you… every tiny bit of it. With that being said, let me repeat what I said earlier, no judgement or thought of anyone else but yourself. Period. If you can’t help but judge someone that this may remind you of, close this blog and move on, it’s not for you. However, you may wish you would have stayed.

Do you like things? Things? Hmmmm… like??? Yes things. Not the basic home, car, clothes, food, utilties… etc.. Things. Like boats, and extra cars and ATV’s and designer clothes and more make up and nicer jewelry and more shoes and that stuff that girl makes down the street at the Boutique and Studio that you have to have all the time to make you and your home prettier. You know things! Well of course you do!! We all do! It’s fun and filling and… well pretty cool to have more things! Well guess what?! You can have all that and much more without any guilt and with money still in the bank. But how do you do that? How can you just go spend that kind of money and still be ok with the bills coming up? I mean, most of us have one job, some of us have two jobs, and the ones that have three or more jobs and a clean home?? Well my hat goes off to you.. cause I couldn’t do it! Here is where I am going. It doesn’t happen overnight. I used to wonder why when I was younger. I wanted it all now. I grew up with nothing and everything at the same time so when I became an adult I wanted it all… fast! Well I did get it all because I went out and went into debt to do it. By the time I was 28 years old I was in more debt than I had money… know why?? I thought I was doing what all the other older adults were doing… getting things. Making myself feel like I was living my American dream. Marriage, home, cars, toys, kids, family, ATV’s.. all of it. But guess what happened next? Breakups and drama and less money and yes…. bad credit! Wait what?!? Nobody told me that would happen! I was living in the monent! Tomorrow would take care of itself… wouldn’t it?!

Tomorrow. Taking care of itself. Hmmmm… Honey if you don’t take anything from this blog… take one thing.. tomorrow does not take care of itself… today takes care of tomorrow. Without today taking care of tomorrow… tomorrow will kick you in the ass faster than you can get out of bed. I promise you that!

So what and how do we make sure today is taking care of tomorrow?

Planning and Preparation. Sound boring? Well it might at first, but your future self will thank you for your today self for taking care of it. You know that job you have that you barely are making it to next payday to even live because you never prepared for just normal things? Did you know if you wrote down every single penny you make on your said paycheck, you would see that you had at least $5 to put back in savings. If that savings is in the bank or in an envelope in your safe.. put that $5 dollars in it, even if it’s in quarters, dimes and nickels… do it. Do not touch it. Then do it again and again and again. Getting a tax refund each year? Cool… extra money! “I never have extra money… I am going to go do what I never get to do ever all year long.. then tomorrow I am going to it again.” Next thing you know you are broke again and with that hurting gut feeling that keeps you awake because all that extra money was blown with nothing to show for it and youre back to stressing about payday. Sound fun?? Was it worth it? Hmmmmm… I really don’t think so! Save it. Save all you can. Use it to help catch up on bills and sure go treat yourself and have fun… but don’t keep doing that until you are total broke. Just don’t. Utilize that blessing to start up a savings for your tomorrow.. rest assure.. it’s worth it. Point being, save a little… or alot.. and watch how much more confidence and less worry you have about a damn dollar bill. It becomes second thought to you so you can actually live each day without stress if you have gas to get to work. That is the American dream and the freedom America is all about. Be strong willed. Don’t fall for everything. Stand your ground and treat yourself to yourself. Friends want you to come hang out all night at your expense?? Knowing you can’t afford it but you go anyway? Why? Do you need to see them so bad you’re willing to go grab that extra $100 you spent so long to save up so you can look like you got your money shit together? Do you think they care? Do you think they think about your plans?? No. They have their own plans for their own life and if they are doing exactly what your’e doing and spending all their money in one night to have fun?? Well honey all of you need to learn or start being around strong willed smart planning people… trust me they will rub off on you. That’s where I am going next. You are who you hang out with.

Being around people will change your mood and maybe your lifestyle if you do it often. Actually even if you don’t do it often, it still can and usually does. I have been around good people that made bad or not so good choices most of the time. Especially when I was in the bar scene alot. You meet and see so many different personalities and if they drink too much in one setting… you just may see their other personality show up before you leave. Some good and most bad. Usually because they have let things build up in their lives so much that the liquid encourager allows them to let go… usually not a good thing. I personally think they should just blog and write… that helps me anyway. Point being, when I would be around that, I realized I was becoming that. Someone I didn’t recognize or know. You see I wasn’t the 18 year old that went out to bars to drink or smoke or play pool or sadly to dance. ( I love dancing) I was married to a good Christian man early in life and I had my kids in my 20’s so that’s what I was doing. Greatful to this day that I made that choice… I loved and still love knowing I am done raising my oldest three and I’m not even 50 yet. 🙂 Off the subject. Anyway, I did go through a divorce in my 30’s and the next serious relationship was the very opposite of my whole life prior. The very opposite. The good and the bad. I went into my first bar to play pool and fell in love with the sport. I met literally 90% of the friends I still have playing pool and that was 16 year ago. So I am blessed to know if it wasn’t for that lifestyle change, I wouldn’t have those people in my life today and that I couldn’t imagine not having. That’s the good side of that lifestyle.. Now for the bad. When I began that lifestlyle I had no clue ‘what my drink was’ when someone asked me, but I was ready willing and able to find out. I won’t get into alot of this side of the story that much, but I am trying to make a valid point here. Other than the life long friends I have, I also have the other people I allowed into my life and even a relationship that was pure toxic to myself and the other’s around me. Since I just came out of a very long marriage, I never knew who I was as a single woman in this world. With limited funds and alone at night, I would grab at anything I could to fill that guilt of leaving my kid’s father because he was ‘just too boring for me.’ He was at that time in my life, but the extreme idea of living that moment, caused decisions that affected way more than my tomorrow.

I started changing into someone I didn’t know, but it was fun… ya know.. that something different I needed since I never had so much freedom to be ‘me’. Being around such weak minded people that I thought was love and acceptance, made me needy for more because after all, I could be the one to ‘fix’ them. Ummm… that’s not quite how it works. I am sure I impacted those lives for the better, but not knowing who you are and allowing others that don’t have a clue what they are doing and living by the moment, isn’t a strong enough person to be. I wasn’t that weak woman, but I sure acted like it. That is a whole other book I will write, but for now.. know the point. You cannot be who you are when you are with people you allow to tell you who you are…. really? Really. It makes no sense to me now, since I pulled out of all that years ago.. it makes my stomach turn when I look back at the time I spent trying to be someone I wasn’t and someone God did not create to be. Talk about misery… try that out.. it hurts your tomorrow!

The good news is… even though it took way longer than it ever should have, I got away from all that. Yet I still never really grasped who I was, but I knew I would find her. I had lost who I was morally and soundly, but I knew somehow I would find me again.. that strong woman I loved dearly. Fast forward to the after effects of all that, was a struggle. I could smile my day away, but I was living like I was a decade younger financially. Struggling and worrying.. but I would make it everytime, because I let go of toxic and relyed on my education and talents and all and all… My Lord Jesus. I lived each day with His Grace and forgiveness and once I finally let go of all the past, physically and emotionally, God sent strength to me through another set of strong minded, smart individuals that changed my life and my family’s life for life. I was blessed with a job in the midst of this transformation to prepare me for what was coming.. I had a boss that was amazing. He knew how to live for tomorrow. He knew how to plan and prepare and never worry about money. He taught me how to save and repair credit… and that’s just what I did. It took years, but I did it. That man was brought into my life for one reason. To allow me to see that there were people I could actually surround myself with to be who I hung out with. I started to have hope in myself when I could see the future and plan for it. Yes things came up.. and yes.. I would run to that savings envelope to go have fun that night and regret it the next day… hell I am human and stubborn so it takes some of us a little longer to really learn something!

Fast forward again, and when that boss that taught me so much had to move away to fulfill even more of his preparations for his future, I was left alone to live and remember all he left me with. I sucked at it alone, but I had a new outlook on my tomorrow. I started to gain confidence in myself to be a better person, but I still had my past relationship that turned toxic always knocking on my door. Then one day, I set out to get away for a while and I am so glad I did. It was a last minute decision and I even left to travel at midnight after I was dressed for bed. I just knew I had to get and have closure from my past and my own self. Not even two months later, God sent my husband now into my life and not only am I the fullest in mind and soul 5 years later, but guess what else? He was even more stable and strong minded than anybody I had ever met before in my life.. him and his family.. they sealed the deal in my change without even knowing it.

He is a strong man. He is a person that went through so much as I did as a kid and teenager, but his decision back then on the finance part of planning his tomorrow started right away. He kept that mind all his adult life and even his personality rubbed off on me. See when we met, I was still at my lowest as far as who I was. I had self medicated with wine everynight and always ate whatever was already cooked. I had gained more weight than I ever weighed and I knew it by the scales. I knew I needed to change my eating pattern and excercise, but didn’t have energy or drive to do so. Men still wanted to date me and I still had fun shooting pool and I worked my ass off to survive.. so what was the point? That point was self denial that I was searching for my completion without even knowing. My life was bliss on the outside.. I just received my beautiful grandbaby weeks before and I knew in my heart I was ready for real love that I knew I could bring, but never trusted anybody to give it to. I actually hated men and loved them the same… but trust?? HA! Never again. Until I met that man I sleep with everynight.

In the last 5 years, I kicked and screamed my way to a life of completion and happiness in myself because I was being loved the way God intended for me to be loved and it took a couple years to accept that because hey… I wanted real.. that didn’t mean I knew what to do with it when I got it! Point being is this! Surround yourself with good strong minded well planned people in your life and watch how it affects you. You become their anchor as they become yours. Well rounded preparation and planning with money, love, hope and trust along with that Grace I still live with every moment of my life.. is flowing out of me to new friends and family I have around me. I refuse toxic, I refuse drama.. and damn that feels good!

Get away and stay away from drama and toxic things in your life. If it shows up, nip it and keep going. Even if that is family, you cannot allow it to tear you up. Life goes by way too fast for all the bullshit. I am serious… let it go!

As we are surrounded by social media… it can be a great thing and it can be a devistating thing. I have caught myself reading people’s lives on it so much, that the good mood I was in before is now in a blah or bad mood… I refuse to read anything that I see is about to make me feel anything but good… I will shut it all down before I allow it to control my day.. and especially my tomorrow! Again… do yourself, your life, your day and your future a favor and be the best version of yourself.. and surround yourself with the ones that want the same and know how to get it. I learn everyday.. I fail everyday… but I keep deciding what’s good for me.. even on my bad days.

Stay strong, be smart.. I will touch on each subject I spoke about in this blog individually another time, but just walk away with this. Today is your day.. tomorrow is your day…. don’t let today make bad decisions with money, love and family for your tomorrow..

The sun will come up in the morning… how are you going to see that sunrise?? With an exhale and a smile??.. or a frown of regret of what you have to face that day because of the no planning you did yesterday. Stay woke. Be that better person, help other’s without praise and save without hoarding your blessings.

I’m about to go and live today so good that my tomorrow looks bright! I encourage you to do the same. Prepare in a smart way so you won’t have to keep starting over!